When are you going to start trying for kids?

You wake up the morning after your wedding and find yourself tagged in tons of Facebook photos.  Guests can’t help but post comments on your Facebook page, letting you know that your wedding was totally THE party of the year. They ask you what your favorite part of the day was, compliment your gorgeous dress, and then ask you the inevitable question…

When are you going to start trying for kids?

A wedding is an exciting time and loved ones become even more excited with the thought of a new addition. So what’s wrong with asking about babies?

  • Some couples choose not to have children (ever or just not now). Regardless of the reason for their decision, asking this question can really put them in an uncomfortable spot and feel pressured.
  • You could open a wound. Miscarriages are a very private thing for a couple to go through, often not informing any friends or family of the loss they have faced.
  • There are couples who would absolutely love to have children of their own…but can’t due to fertility and/or other health issues.

While couples know that no one means any harm when this question is asked, those words still have the power to rip their hearts in half. Children are a private subject to be shared between two people, until if and when they decide they are ready to invite others into this time in their lives. It can make a parent restless, waiting to be promoted to ‘grandparent’, but for the sake of saving broken hearts try to be a little patient and wait for news to be shared with you.

In the meantime, there are tons of other subjects to focus on: moving to a new home, promotion, remembering the time grandma did The Harlem Shake during the reception…


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